The Beginning

I want to talk about something.

It's difficult for me to open my mind and speak about the thoughts, they're not exactly fun and games sometimes. But it's something I really do feel people like me need to start speaking hoenstly about, so here goes.

I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa when I was 17 years old. Although I am now technically 'healthy', my mind isn't really if I'm honest. Anorexia is a condition that affects me every day of my life, and has for nearly three years now. For the average anorexic, it takes 6 years to make a 'full recovery' - so I guess I have a long way to go.

I think it's one of the most frustrating things for 'half recovered' people- the fact that you may look healthy on the outside but on the inside you are really struggling. I sometimes feel so alone, like I cant talk about these things because it's, quite understandably, difficult for others to understand.

So I want to document my days to full recovery. For me, there was so much great advice for people in the first stages of recovery ; how to tackle 'difficult' foods, how to start being okay with gaining weight, how to keep maintaining weight until you reach a healthy weight.
But what about how to recognise that you're relapsing? How to deal with unhealthy obsessions with exercise and guilt when you eat 'too much'? How to be okay with your natural weight and not see just fat all over your body when you look in the mirror? Most importantly, how to deal with that final push to health.

I'm no where near full recovery yet, but I am ready to recover.